Living A Nightmare
by she got out alive
Summary: Raven's having nightmares. And to make things worse she is also suffering from dizzying migraines. Do her headaches and dreams have a connection? What's causing them? CURRENTLY DISCONTINUED
1. Drowning in the Darkness

Okay, I had an idea for a story and I had to write it, so this is it. This is Robin/Raven, don't like it, don't read it, blah, blah, blah. The rating may change in future chapters. And I am still going to update my other story as well as this one. So here you go, chapter one, and don't forget to review!

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Teen Titans. **

(I should mention that this story is written in Raven's perspective)

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_Darkness surrounded me. The black swirled and spun, it was extremely disorienting. I felt lightheaded and had to shut my eyes. I stumbled on wobbly legs; it was incredibly hard to stand. The dizziness hurt. And I wanted it to stop. I raised my hands to my head and held it steady, hoping it would stop the dizziness. It didn't. It just got worse._

_An aching pain started to form in the back of my head and I wanted to scream, it hurt so badly. But I didn't. I wouldn't give in._

_It was now impossible to stand, so I sunk to my knees, the throbbing pain just kept getting stronger and stronger and stronger. I kicked, clawed at the ground, bit my lip so hard it bled; I did anything to make the pain end. But it wouldn't, this pain was relentless._

_Then suddenly as if some miracle, it disappeared. I gasped and opened my eyes. It was still pitch black, but there was no pain, no dizziness, nothing. There was only silence. Uncomfortable silence. Seconds passed. Or was it minutes? Hours? It sure felt like hours. I ran my tongue across my bottom lip and tasted blood; it was a cold metallic flavour. I didn't like it. _

_And for some reason, I had this strange feeling that I was being watched. But looking around I saw no one, well I saw nothing, but it sure as hell felt like someone was out there, watching me. There could be hundreds of pairs of eyes boring into me, or there could be no one. I would never know in this darkness. I am blind in this darkness, this black. I hate being blind. I hate not knowing. I hate it. I hate this place. I want out. But how could I get out? Was there even an out? If there were, I would find it. I took off running. I ran and I ran. I had to get away. I would get away, wouldn't I? I ran until I had almost collapsed from lack of air. I slowed to a stop, completely breathless, and gulped in air even though my throat felt dry and parched, and every breath I breathed in felt like fire._

_Still breathing heavily I looked up, and I still had no idea where I was. That darkness had never left; it still hung around me, making everything look exactly the same. It was rather annoying actually. Still, I had to keep going, I had to get out. So I stumbled forward. And after a few clumsy steps I felt water splash up my bare leg. I was confused at first, but then I finally realized that I was standing ankle deep in water, water that happened to be freezing cold._

_My boots were already soaked and my toes were going numb. If I could just find my way back to the dry ground I was just standing on . . . But I couldn't find it. I just splashed around hopelessly in the icy water, getting colder and colder._

_Then I noticed the water was rising. Moments before, the water had been a harmless ankle deep, now it had risen past my shins and up to my knees, goose bumps started to appear all over my skin. I could barely see the water's dim shine, and it's murky blackness. My fingertips skimmed across the water's surface, and I shivered as it rose up past my thighs, the water was just so cold. _

_Then the dizziness hit me full force. Just like the last time, I had to shut my eyes. The pain had begun throbbing in the back of my head again and was now getting worse. I couldn't focus, I felt extremely dizzy. I waded a few steps backwards in the water that was now up to my waist level, it was so hard to stand, for my legs were not only numb from the ice water but they also felt extremely weak. Now the pain was getting really bad, so unbearably bad. I felt my legs slip out from under me and I clawed desperately at the air, trying to find something –anything- to hold onto, but there was nothing. I was able to take in one last breath before I crashed into the water and was engulfed in cold. I tried to resurface, but the icy water seemed to drag me down deeper into this bottomless pool of black. The surface seemed to grow further and further away. I tried to swim closer, but that just wasted precious oxygen. Now I really needed air; my lungs were going to burst. _

_Then another wave of dizzying pain ran through me, and all of the air I had left in my lungs escaped from my mouth. I wanted air, and before I could stop myself I gulped in a mouthful of cold water, and I started to choke and cough uncontrollably. My hands clung to my neck. It felt like someone was ripping my chest apart and shredding my lungs into bloody ribbons. It burned like fire. _

_I couldn't fight it anymore; I was too weak. The pain in my head and in my chest was too strong. The need for air was killer. The cold water had turned my body numb. All I could do was give up. So just as a fresh wave of dizzy pain attacked my mind I let my body go limp, and sunk deeper into the darkness, and then the pain took over._

I shot up straight on in my bed. My forehead was glistened with sweat, and my sheets were damp. Horrible dreams. No, not dreams, nightmares. That nightmare was the third one this week, and also the worst one this week. Each one was different, each one was terrifying.

My heart was pounding hard in my chest, and I was breathing heavily. Even though it was a dream, I felt as if I was badly winded, deprived of air, like my dream had actually happened. I looked down at my arms, goose bumps. Raven, of course you have goose bumps; you were just freaked out of your mind. That is just the result of being scared. I told myself, but I felt so _cold_. Why was I cold, huh? Explain that, common sense.

I shook my head and looked at time. It was four twenty in the morning. First time it was five, and the time after that had been four forty, and now four twenty. I kept waking up earlier and earlier, getting less and less sleep.

I sighed and fell back onto the bed. I lay there, wide-awake, for a long time. Sleep just wouldn't come, so I watched the clock, minutes slowly ticked by. Hours passed without my noticing. Five o'clock, six o'clock, seven. Then, I figured that I should get up, because lying in bed for two and a half more hours would do nothing. And because of my wise decision, about nine minutes later I was walking into the kitchen.

Barely seconds after I entered the room, Robin walked in. "Hey Raven." He greeted.

I turned and nodded my head. "Rob-" was all I could get out before a dizzying pain appeared in my head. I winced, my eyes closed and I stumbled forward. My legs grew weak and I was falling, but someone caught me. The pain started to fade and I opened my eyes.

"Raven? Are you okay?" Robin asked sounding concerned. He studied my face, and after thoroughly checking it over he stared deep into my eyes. "Answer me, Raven."

I blinked. "I'm fine." I lied. That dizzy spell had left me with a terrible headache. I grimaced. Okay, maybe it was more of a migraine. Robin's face began to get blurry, so I blinked a few times. When his face refocused, I saw that he was frowning at me. He didn't believe me. Smart guy.

Robin raised his hand and placed it on my forehead to check my temperature. I knocked his hand away and frowned at him. "What are you? My mother?" I tried to push him away, but he wouldn't budge.

"Raven," He stared at me hard.

I sighed. _Go away, Robin! _"I really am fine." I assured him and waved my hand, pushing him away with black energy. I stood up and tried to walk away, but Robin lunged forward and grabbed my shoulder. If I didn't tell him something he'd never leave me alone. "I didn't get much sleep last night."

He gave me one last stare. "Alright," Robin said. "I know you aren't telling me something, but, whatever." He shook his head and sat down at the table. I would tell him I was having nightmares, just not right now.

Hours later, Beast Boy and Cyborg had begun to argue over what to have for breakfast.

"We are not having tofu." Cyborg firmly stated.

"Yes we are." Beast Boy informed him.

The robotic teen shook his head, "No way. We are having bacon." A dreamy expression appeared on his face.

"Nope. No bacon." Cyborg's meat fantasy shattered. "I am going to get the tofu." Beast Boy started walking toward the fridge, but Cyborg tackled him before he could reach it.

"No! We are not having that crap ass excuse for food. I will personally gouge my eyes out before I eat that stuff." Cyborg said.

Beast Boy shrugged. "I guess somebody's going blind. Tofu."

"Bacon." Cyborg narrowed his eyes.

"To-" Cyborg pushed Beast Boy into the ground, cutting him off. Beast Boy tried to squirm out of the headlock Cyborg had on him.

"Help!" The changeling exclaimed in a rather desperate fashion. I couldn't help but roll my eyes.

"I'm being repressed! He's repressing me!" Beast Boy shouted, then morphed into a mouse and scurried away. He changed back to his somewhat human form when he got close to Robin and grabbed the team leader's shoulders. "You saw him repressing me, didn't you? Didn't you?" Beast Boy asked him, violently shaking the teen's shoulders.

"Stop it!" Robin knocked the green boy's hands away.

Beast Boy smiled triumphantly. "Ha! I have a witness! He saw me being repressed!" He gave a happy dance.

Starfire gave a loud and noticeable sneeze. "What if this 'repressing'?" She asked confused.

"He's not being repressed." I told her, pointing to Beast Boy, who was singing, 'we're gonna eat some tofu, I'm gonna have some tofu for breakfaaaaaaast!' I finished, "He's just being Beast Boy, the idiot we _all _hate."

Beast Boy gave me an angry stare. "Not everyone hates me. Only you hate me, everyone else thinks I'm awesome. Right?" Robin raised an eyebrow and then looked back down at the newspaper he was reading; Cyborg just shook his head and looked away; Starfire coughed, and then got up to get a Kleenex so she could blow her runny nose; and I held my cup of tea to my lips so it would hide my grin. The changeling hung his head in shame. He sniffled and pretended to wipe a tear from his eye. "That's harsh you guys. Really harsh."

xxx

I shut my eyes, my migraine getting worse. I stumbled into the back of the couch and placed my hands on it using it as a support to keep me standing up.

"Friend Raven," Starfire paused to sneeze. "Are you okay?" She coughed.

Still feeling dizzy, I managed to shake my head. "I-I just have a headache that's all." I stuttered.

Starfire nodded her head. "So, you are also feeling ill?" She looked at me, concerned. First Robin, now Starfire. Would they stop worrying about my health? "Would you like to have some of the aspirin? I have plenty to spare," She stopped and began coughing, she cleared her throat and continued, "It does the wonders." Starfire handed me the bottle of aspirin. "I have to go do the laying down, I feel quite," She sneezed again. "Sick." The tamaran finished weakly and flew, with some difficulty, to her room.

I sighed. Looks like even super strong aliens with a great immune system are no match for the common cold. I thought about what she said, she was going to go lay down. Not a bad idea. I gave a small shrug; I'm a little tired, a nap sounded pretty good about now.

So, I started to walk towards my room to take a nice, long nap. Completely unaware that as soon as I would shut my eyes to go to sleep I would suffer from another nightmare.

xxx

Review and tell me if I should continue! Thanks!


	2. Burn My Soul

Disclaimer: I do not own the Teen Titans, duh

(If you aren't sure, dreams are italicized.)

xxx

Raven's P.O.V -for whole chapter-

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_I was in a room. A room with white walls, no doors, no windows; no way out._

_I thought I was seeing things. Fire. I thought I saw fire. Actually, I did see fire. Flames were crawling up the walls and across the floor, leaving a trail of black ashes in their wake. It was almost as if the fire was making its way towards me. Not wanting to get burned, I instantly backed up, backed up straight into a wall. I slid my body sideways and became trapped in a corner. No way out. No! I pounded my fists against the white walls of the room. Silently begging for anyone out there to let me out. But there was no one out there, no one to help me._

_I turned back to the fire. The whole room, all but my corner of it, was aflame. The once white walls were now blackened and burned by the fire. I looked up at the ceiling and the upper half of this room. Something was missing . . . Smoke. Fire with no smoke. This was unreal. _

_Pain erupted in my lower left leg. I jumped forward with a pained yelp. The room was small. The wall in front of me was closer than I thought it was. I screamed from the intense pain surging up my arms. I ripped my hands away from the wall I had just collided with and stared down at them. They were blackened with soot and still burning embers from the fire were stuck in my palms. My breathing grew strangled and pained. Suddenly my hands grew blurry in front of my eyes and my migraine returned. Then I blacked out._

I woke up, and automatically checked my hands for foreign marks. They were completely fine, free of burns. I checked my left leg. Same as my hands, fine. I sighed in relief. I was burn free. It just seemed so real . . . Never mind about that. My only real problem was my head; it hurt really badly. Where was that aspirin? I snatched the bottle off of my bedside table and ripped the cap off, I shook three out and dry swallowed them. Now please, _please, _let me not have any more migraines. I looked at my clock. Two thirty-eight in the afternoon. When did I go to sleep? Two twenty? Two twenty-five? Some nap that was, not even a half hour's worth of sleep. Though there wasn't much point in trying to fall back asleep. I'd probably just have another nightmare.

I didn't want to stay here alone, so I left my room and walked over to Starfire's. She was awake, and looked horrible, a sick horrible, that is. Used Kleenex littered the floor and I had step carefully to avoid them, but finally I made it to her bed and I sat down on it.

"Greetings friend," she said between coughs.

"Hey Starfire." I gave her a small smile. "Feeling any better?"

She shook her head. "Not really. I still feel the terrible. Being sick is most horrid."

I nodded my head. There was a slight aching, but I could ignore it.

"Are you still suffering from the head of aches?" Starfire asked. _Headaches. _I silently corrected. But it was true.

"Yeah, they just don't seem to go away." I mumbled, my mind elsewhere. Maybe I could use Star's sickness as a cover up. I could say that I caught her cold and that was the reason for my migraines. It wouldn't be very believable though, she was sniffling and coughing and I most defiantly wasn't.

"How awful." The tamaranian's voice brought me out from my thoughts. I nodded my head slightly to show I'd heard her. And she continued, "Is everything well? Is friend Cyborg also ill?"

I shook my head no.

"Friend Beast Boy?"

Again, I shook my head.

"Friend-" I cut her off.

"All of our friends are fine from what I'm sure of, Starfire. Don't worry about anything, just get better." I told her a bit harsher than I had intended to.

She stopped asking after that, and it was silent, though only for a short period of time. "It is most boring being stuck in bed. There is no form of entertainment at all and not one thing to do." Starfire said pitifully.

"I could lend you a book," I offered. She shrugged. "I could, get you something. Do you want some tea?" Normally I wouldn't offer my tea to just anyone, but she was my friend, and she was sick.

Starfire smiled a bit. "That would be wonderful, Raven."

xxx

I sat on the far end of the couch struggling to read my book. All the words seemed to blob together into an inky mess. Finally I gave up. It was just too hard to read when your head feels like somebody hit it with a mallet. More aspirin maybe?

I stared down at the bottle of pills. What strength was this? Regular? Because the aspirin didn't seem very strong, it hadn't helped one bit. I squinted, but it didn't help at all. I finally realized if you can't read the words in a book, how in hell were you supposed to read the tiny print on an aspirin bottle?

"It says extra strength, Rae."

_Rae. _There is one person who can say that and annoy the hell out of me. His name would be Robin. I turned my head to see boy blunder himself leaning over the back of the couch. "What?" I growled.

"Extra strength." He repeated slowly. "It looked like you were having trouble reading it, so I thought I'd tell you the bottle said, and it reads, extra strength."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "I am not having trouble. I can read perfectly fine."

"Really?" He smirked. "Then read the paragraph on the back of the bottle."

I turned the bottle over. Damn him. There was no chance I would ever be able to read that with the migraine I had. The tiny words that made up the ingredients looked more like a bumpy line than anything else. I didn't say anything; I only looked up at him in defeat.

His smile had disappeared, the expression on his face was dead serious. "Starfire told me you were having headaches." He said.

Starfire! She better thank Azar that I can't hurt a person, or alien girl, when they're sick. I gritted my teeth and forced out, "I'm glad she cared enough about me to tell you."

"Raven," he gave me a look. "_You_ should've told me, not Starfire. I care about you," Robin's tone softened a bit. "If something is wrong or if anything is bothering you can always talk to me about it."

Oh, it's the 'you can tell me anything' line again, just a little bit different. I can't stand it, why is he so concerned? Maybe he cares, as in 'cares cares'. Pfft, yeah right. "What is bothering me is you going all maternal on me." I grumbled before I could stop myself.

"Maternal?" Robin raised an eyebrow. "Well that's a new one. I've heard overprotective, motherly, but never maternal." He smiled. "Maternal . . . Maternal sounds pretty feminine. I guess I've got to work on being manlier, huh?"

The thing is with Robin; opportunities to make snarky comments about him don't come very by often. It's rather unfortunate actually. He needs more flaws. It'd make my job of being sarcastic a lot easier. But, when he says things like that, you can't just let them slide. "That's right, _mom._"

Robin grinned wider. I tried to smile, but my headache argued against the idea. I turned away from him wincing.

"Raven. Get up, you're coming with me." Robin said.

I groaned, and rubbed my forehead. "To where?"

"Medical ward."

"No. I don't need medical help, Robin," I shook my head and turned away from him. "It's just a headache."

Robin crossed his arms. "A headache doesn't make you collapse in pain."

"But-" He didn't let me finish. Robin grabbed my hand and pulled up from the couch. I dropped my book and the aspirin, causing them to clatter on the ground loudly. Beast Boy and Cyborg glanced up from their video game at the sound, confusion written across their faces.

I stood my ground. "I am f-"

"Do not say fine!" Robin shouted, pointing a finger in my direction.

This shut me up.

"Now, c'mon, you are coming with me right now." He ordered.

"No." I insisted. He could be concerned. But Robin was not going to run a scan over me, or something. It was just a headache, nothing else.

He seemed to think otherwise. "You are coming with me, whether you like it or not." Robin had this sternness in his voice that was hard to argue against, but I managed.

"Well, I don't like it. And I am staying right here."

"Really?" A cocky grin spread across Robin's face. He moved toward me with his arms outstretched.

I backed away from him. "What the hell are you doing?"

"I told you that you were coming with me to the medical ward, and I also stated you may not like it. So," he grabbed me around the waist, causing me to let out a surprised yelp, and threw me over his shoulder with ease. What was he on? Steroids, or something? He couldn't be _that _strong. But apparently he was. "I am guessing you don't like this, but this is the only way you'll come with me." Robin finished.

Beast Boy and Cyborg pointed and laughed. I just ignored them and frowned. "You suck," I snarled at Robin.

He only laughed. "So I've heard before."

xxx

"I told you that doing anything like this was pointless." I said after Robin had checked me over with almost every bit of medical equipment in the room.

Robin shook his head. "I don't understand. You aren't sick; you're eating habits are the same as usual, horrible, you have nothing wrong with your brain or nervous system. You don't have any diseases, your eyesight's fine. I just don't know." He said, and sat down next to me on the hospital bed, looking defeated.

"Robin, I only started having these headaches days ago." I told him. "They'll probably go away in-"

He looked up at me. "Raven, you are never sick, always in perfect health. It worries me that you are almost constantly on the brink of falling out of consciousness when you get these headaches. I actually am not sure if these really are headaches." He was taking this extremely seriously. And he had reason to, it was true, I was _always_ in perfect physical condition. "Is there anything else bothering you?" Robin asked. He had just drew up a question I didn't want to answer. I did not want to tell him about my nightmares.

"No." I said, and left the room without another word.

xxx

_Darkness again. I ran, in order to escape it. But it didn't work. It was all around me, but I kept running. Suddenly, the ground seemed to slip away and I was falling. _

_Falling, falling, falling . . . _

_Smack?_

I screamed. My side hurt. And I mean _hurt. _Expecting shattered bones and bruises; I looked to my side, and saw nothing wrong. Just like the burns that weren't there. It seemed so real, but it wasn't. But the pain in my side was real, wasn't it? The whole right side of my body ached. In my dream I had fallen from who knows how high up and landed on my side. Why wasn't it damaged? Oh, wait, because it was a dream.

"Raven!" Robin worried voice sounded from behind my door. Now I really wish I hadn't screamed. Right before he could kick it down, I flung my door open. "You screamed." He said looking me up and down. "What's wrong?"

If I said nothing, he wouldn't believe me and would then probably search my room for the pyshco-maniac that just attacked me. I sighed and mumbled, "I, uh, had a bad dream."

He sighed in relief. "Do you want to talk about it?" Robin asked, still concerned in his 'motherly' way.

I shook my head. "Not really." I tried to shut my door in his face but he kept it open.

"Are you sure?"

"No." I muttered, and sighed. "I don't know these dreams are just, they seem so real, like it actually happened and, I guess I'm just, scared." I confessed to him, most likely looking like a terrible wreck all the while. I probably told him because it was three in the morning and I was extremely tired and really just wanted a good night's sleep.

"Raven," he took me by the shoulders. "How long have you been having these nightmares?" Robin asked.

I shrugged. "A week or so."

"Can you sleep?"

"Not really, no."

He looked down, thinking. Finally, he said, "Well, the only advice I can give you is, what happens in your dreams isn't real, it never really happened. It's only your imagination. Once you realize that, your nightmares might go away. From my experience, it works."

I bit my lip, thinking about what he said. The dreams weren't real, only my imagination, that was actually _good _advice. "Thanks." I said, wrapping my arms around him in a hug. "That helps a lot."

Robin pulled away. "Just know that you can talk to me if the dreams get worse alright?" I nodded my head and he left.

Lying down on my bed, I told myself, not real, not real, the dreams aren't real. Fire, not scary. Falling, not scary. Drowning, not scary. Darkness, not scary. Not scary, not real. Not scary, not real. I am going to go to sleep and dream about something good, or nothing at all, because the nightmares aren't real, they're only my imagination. And I won't let them get to me. Not real. Not real. I closed my eyes, expecting a peaceful night of rest.

But my dreams only got worse.

xxx

A/N: I stuck this at the bottom of the chapter so it's less annoying, I guess. Well, anyway, that's chapter 2, (chapter 3 will be better, hopefully), sorry for any grammatical and/or spelling errors. I try my best, really I do. Please give me your feedback, it is greatly appreciated. Oh, and for my other story, chapter 11 will hopefully be posted next week, kay? Now, review! Criticism is welcome, and so is anything positive! Thanks!


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